There is no bigger lie in sports than the advertised kick time of a Super Bowl. In defense of the person who has to pull out of the hat a random time between 25 and 45 minutes after the hour, it is an impossible task. How do you plan for how long it takes to introduce to the television audience every individual that is in the stadium?
I understand the Super Bowl takes the largest sporting event in the world and makes it the largest cultural event in the United States but the lead-up to it feels a little, to be kind, crowded. Not that I’m not thrilled that the Pat Tillman Foundation is now helping people in a very powerful way but, shoehorning that complex story into 90 seconds so we can have the participants out for the coin toss might not have been the best idea. It did the story a disservice to say the least.
If I had to save my family by recounting to you what that story was about, I would be the opposite of Liam Neeson in Taken. I would have to tell my captors I don’t really have any special set of skills but Kansas City did win the toss and chose to defer.
I’m not certain how difficult it is to find interpreters for the hearing impaired but the NFL managed to find one that was an Academy Award winner. I don’t know this to be factual but I assume the convention of Academy Award-winning interpreters for the hearing impaired is that one guy and the catering staff.
He was not the first interpreter we met. The first one was working on Babyface’s rendition of “America the Beautiful”. Imagine his delight when he got the gig only to find out he was being upstaged by the guy that has won the Academy Award for that craft. Tough break, there.
Speaking of “America the Beautiful,” nice song and all, but we are moments away from hearing the “Star Spangled Banner”. Not sure why we need both songs. It is like we have the National Anthem and the runner-up to the National Anthem. The real National Anthem gets a little more fanfare and the “All Female Flyover”. I’m having to take FOX’s word on the fact the pilots were all ladies as they are traveling a few hundred miles per hour several thousand feet in the air with their faces fully covered.
Just so you’ll know I am not the old man standing in my yard screaming at the clouds, I will not besmirch Chris Stapleton’s rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. To be transparent, I’d pay to listen to Stapleton sing the IRS tax code so, it goes without saying, I thought he slayed.
I did love Tom Rinaldi setting the table on Nick Sirianni’s dream of standing on a Super Bowl sideline while the anthem played followed by FOX going right to the Sirianni close up as soon as Stapleton sang “O, say”. They did eventually get the money shot of him crying and it was a nice moment.
All of that finally got us to kickoff, right? Nope. Next we get to meet Kansas City Chiefs legend Will Shields and Philadelphia Eagles legend Harold Carmichael as they stand next to the Lombardi Trophy. One of these greats would be presenting the trophy to their former team. Based on the pacing of the pregame, I assumed that presentation would come in early April. Doug Williams, the first Black quarterback to win a Super Bowl, was there too. Fitting since Super Bowl LVII was the first one to feature two Black quarterbacks.
The Super Bowl pregame has become like outdoor Christmas decorations; if you have to ask, “Did I do too much?”, the answer is most likely a firm “Yes”. It is like the NFL and FOX had three pages of ideas and nobody ever shot any of them down. When that happens, one recognition clumsily bumps into the next one and, as a result, no one ever fully absorbs any of them.
When I was growing up, most of the Super Bowls were blowouts. The NFL has evolved into a one-possession sport. Almost every game plays to the final horn and the Super Bowl has followed that pattern. The game itself is the best it has ever been. It has also become as crowded as it has ever. We wait two weeks for the start of the game and it is almost as if the NFL just wants to tease us a little bit longer.
What are we going to do, turn it off? Have fun watching The Equalizer reruns on CBS.
Also, shoutout to the Philly fan in Section 208, Row 12, Seat 3, you helped an elderly man across the street back in July. You just missed the cut for the Super Bowl pregame but we wanted to recognize you here.
Ryan Brown is a columnist for Barrett Sports Media, and a co-host of the popular sports audio/video show ‘The Next Round’ formerly known as JOX Roundtable, which previously aired on WJOX in Birmingham. You can find him on Twitter @RyanBrownLive and follow his show @NextRoundLive.
That was over the top we can scrap lift every voice and sing plus did we need three different ASL interpreters and 4 guests for the coin toss also did we need every team to have their nomination for man of the year on field.