I recently asked some very smart mostly radio people, “What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?” The answers I’ve received so far are not necessarily related specifically to radio but rather to Life Its Ownself. (The late, great Dan Jenkins, 1984.)
ROBIN BERTOLUCCI – Program Director, KFI, Los Angeles: “Lee Larsen (now retired GM at KOA, Denver) is amazing. He’s a friend and mentor. One of the things he used to tell me – I was kind of a short fuse person at that time – he used to say, ‘Robin, you can always get mad later. You don’t have to be mad first.’”
GUY ZAPOLEON – music scientist, journalist, radio consultant: The best piece of advice I ever received was from my 9th grade teacher at Montclair Prep school, Mr. Reoux: “Just because it’s in print, doesn’t mean it’s true.”
DOUG MCINTYRE – KFI, KABC, novelist, author: When I was around 19 or 20, I had a summer job and I was constantly bellyaching “I wish it were Friday”, “I wish it were September”, I wish, I wish, I wish. Then Ol’ Chick Dumas who worked on the same crew said to me, “Kid, you’re wishing your life away.” That I have never forgotten. Now that I am older than Chick was when he said this, I really understand how right he was.
DAVE “The Groz” GROSBY – Former sports talk host KJR, KIRO, Seattle: From my father Al Grosby, 50 years in radio: Always be able to answer the question “Why should I hire you?”
DR. BENJAMIN NEUMAN – Professor of Biology and GHRC Chief Virologist, Texas A&M University: Try not to use a calculator [for math problems] unless you have to – it keeps your mind sharp. From Prof. Stanley Sawicki at the University of Toledo, my second virology research mentor. It was great advice, and I still do.
JESSICA BLORE – Cosmetologist, Hollywood, daughter of the late radio genius, Chuck Blore: Two things, both from my mother: “Live off the interest and never touch the principle” and, “Never go looking for something you don’t want to find”
CRYS QUIMBY – Former News and Program Director KFWB, KNX, Los Angeles, WCBS, New York: From my father:
1) “Speak to people on their level.” (I don’t recall Dad actually telling me that, but I have tried to follow his example on and off the job. From generals and politicians to friends and farmers, his vocabulary, accent, and even his posture and stance varied. I realized this when I was 16.)
2) “Never play second fiddle.”
3) “Don’t cry over a boy. Like buses, another one is around the corner.|
4) “If you can’t pay for it, you can’t afford it,” and, “Pay credit cards in full every month.” (Sure wish I started that before 40!)
KITTY O’NEAL – Sacramento icon, KFBK news host, singer: One of my best friends had a brother who was a military chaplain and was one of the most outstanding human beings I’ve ever met. I remember he told me once that it’s best to try to be patient and kind with everyone you encounter because you never know what kind of private battle they’re fighting.
BOBBY OCEAN – RKO Radio Boss Jock, KFRC, San Francisco, KHJ, Los Angeles: When I was very young, I left home to hitchhike across the USA a few times, A little over a year later, still in my late teens, when I returned a new man to reunite with my parents, I had a theosophical conversation with my dad, which included my informing him I was no longer a practicing Catholic, doubted the existence of any god as humans could perceive such and was bouncing between atheism and agnosticism.
This shook my father. But he kept calm and thoughtfully said something that stuck with me all my life, “your mind has recently covered a lot of new territory, much of it providing a new perspective. Just don’t ‘make your mind up” making it closed; keep your mind open.”
I did and God knows I still do.
Several years later, arriving at my first major market station, San Diego, I was unprepared for the regular aircheck critiques. I started thinking I was the worst ‘Boss DJ’ in the state. My Program Director, at the time, was the highly acclaimed Mark Denis; to him, I confessed that ‘perhaps I wasn’t ready for this market.’
Mark took me aside, looked me in the eye, and with confidence, asserted, “You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t ready. Right now, you’re just being fine-tuned.”
After hearing that I, as I only wanted to live up to their trust in me, felt there was nothing that could stop me.
BOB NATHAN – News host, KFBK, Sacramento, Talk host KSTE, Sacramento: I don’t recall being given any ”best” advice but, sadly, it’s more likely that I just didn’t take it had it ever been offered.
I took a useful, clever bit from a ‘70s TV lawyer show called “Petrocelli” in which the title character, played by Barry Newman,” said something akin to “Never engage in a battle of wits unless you know your opponent is armed.” Some variant of that advice has been attributed to Shakespeare and Mark Twain, among others, without evidence of any written proof. I used it to replace my far less eloquent “Don’t argue with stupid people. They don’t know they’re stupid” and “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.”
My former close friend Archie Milligan told me that my problem in disagreements is that I‘m “a bad winner,” and that I don’t leave my opponent anywhere to go. He said that I “fire the nuke first” when a more successful strategy might be to “allow a vanquished adversary the opportunity to save face.”Probably good advice, I just never took it.
TOM LANGMYER – CEO and President of Great Lakes Media, former GM WTMJ, Milwaukee, WGN, Chicago: I had a discussion with a radio titan about some changes that were to be made at a station. I grappled with this because it involved people on my team, and frankly, I didn’t agree. I tried to find places where I could have them find new employment and give them notice so they could do the same. I thought by ‘protecting’ them, by giving them some time to find new positions, I was doing them a favor.
Whether I agreed or disagreed with the outcome, there was a key takeaway – and it was a pivotal moment on levels I previously had never faced.
BOSS: “How do you cut the tail off a dog?”
ME: “I’m not sure what you’re asking me.”
BOSS: “How do you cut the tail off a dog?!”
ME: (As an animal lover, I didn’t know where he was going with this, but didn’t think it was to be taken literally, so I decided to just give him an answer.) “Well. I’ve never thought of that. I guess you just grab the tail and cut it off?”
BOSS: “Then why are you cutting off the tail one inch at a time? That’s not good for the dog, is it?”
This likely would not have been an analogy anyone would use today. However, I got the point – and it certainly broke through. It was effective.
I’ve gotten more ‘important’ global advice similar to what others may cite, but this one caused much introspection, as the world looked very different. It also was an epiphany in another big way. It drove home the point that if you aren’t agreeing or are no longer a cultural fit in a place when a new team comes in above you, make a choice.
Do not sell your soul, because when you do, you’re also cutting your own tail off, one inch at a time. It means you must accept that it’s time to find yourself a new doghouse. One that doesn’t have this chain you’ve found hanging around your neck. Only then can you be free again to lead and win again. That’s what winners do!
HERE’S MINE: My dad, Don Williams, is still my hero, though he passed 22 years ago. We spent a lot of time camping when I was a kid and he told me one of the most important things to remember while living outdoors: “Never pee uphill.”
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I’d love to hear the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten. Email it to me at davewilliams0806@gmail.com. Include your name and radio talk/news-related position if any. I may use it here in the future.
