"FOX Sports looks to continue on the momentum from the FIFA World Cup was an exciting year of action beginning week one with the defending national champion Indiana Hoosiers."
"I just gotta say that I would be far wealthier had I done the MAGA impersonation so many others have done, but holy hell am I glad I don't have to beclown myself on a daily basis to prove my loyalty to keep the gravy train going."
"We are deeply disappointed in today's decision, but The Onion will continue to seek a resolution that helps the Sandy Hook families receive a positive outcome for the horror they endured."
"FOX Sports looks to continue on the momentum from the FIFA World Cup was an exciting year of action beginning week one with the defending national champion Indiana Hoosiers."