"You'll get plenty of more opening days. Let Howie and Keith Raad finish it the right way with 40,000 people, with optimism, hope, and then Howie can drop the mic and say I'm out."
"I just gotta say that I would be far wealthier had I done the MAGA impersonation so many others have done, but holy hell am I glad I don't have to beclown myself on a daily basis to prove my loyalty to keep the gravy train going."
"We are deeply disappointed in today's decision, but The Onion will continue to seek a resolution that helps the Sandy Hook families receive a positive outcome for the horror they endured."
"You'll get plenty of more opening days. Let Howie and Keith Raad finish it the right way with 40,000 people, with optimism, hope, and then Howie can drop the mic and say I'm out."