"All I wanted to do with my life was to write about sports and I never imagined it would take me this far. The team with me is second to none. Now, we ball."
"We are deeply disappointed in today's decision, but The Onion will continue to seek a resolution that helps the Sandy Hook families receive a positive outcome for the horror they endured."
"All I wanted to do with my life was to write about sports and I never imagined it would take me this far. The team with me is second to none. Now, we ball."