“And there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos …”
It has become a punchline that can be appended to any hollow-sounding apology. A way to mock the absurdity of a specifically somber announcement.
“And that’ll be a homer. And so that’ll make it a 4-0 ballgame.”
It’s become a meme at this point. The Brennameme, referring to that bit of baseball play-by-play that announcer Thom Brennaman sandwiched into his apology for saying a homophobic slur during a 2019 broadcast.
“I don’t know if I’m going to be putting on this headset again,” Brennaman said.
The apology was panned in part because he appeared more concerned about his broadcasting future both with the Reds and with FOX, but mostly because it was just so dang awkward. Brennaman resigned his position with the Reds broadcast that year, and if you’re like me, you haven’t thought all that much about him since.
That changed for me this week when I read Cyd Zeigler’s story on Brennaman for OutSports.com. He looked at what Brennaman has done over the past two years, engaging with members of the LGBTQ community in Cincinnati and acknowledging the harm his comment caused.
Turns out that Brennaman’s story is more than a meme. There’s a lesson about how to actually apologize for a mistake — even one that is as galling and hurtful as Brennaman’s. For me, it was a reminder that the well-earned cynicism toward apologies from public figures can cause us to forget what actual contrition looks like and more importantly, what to do when we encounter it.
This is important because there are a significant number of programmers in the audience here at Barrett Sports Media, who have to decide whether to hire someone who has made a mistake that cost them a job. There are also a number of hosts here, who must offer opinions on the professional future of players, coaches and executives who’ve made undeniable mistakes.
The reason Brenneman’s story stuck out to me is that his actions these past two years demonstrate what an actual apology should look like. This isn’t some secret. There are actual steps, which I’m plenty familiar with given the number of apologies I’ve given in my life.
- State the act you are apologizing for.
- Acknowledge how this action harmed the person you’re apologizing to.
- Summarize your actual intentions if you must, but be very brief. Do not justify yourself.
- Outline steps you will take to prevent this from happening again.
It remains utterly amazing to me how many public apologies fail to meet these straightforward criteria, but that’s a different column. We’re talking about Brennaman here, and I was struck by his willingness to acknowledge how the slur he used was part of the hate and harassment that people face due to sexual orientation.
Specifically, Brennaman mentioned the impact of a story he heard about a young gay man, who was motioned across the street by a motorist in Seattle only to have the driver ram into him before using that same slur while the young man laid there on the asphalt.
“When you use the word flippantly like I did,” Brennaman said, “and then you hear that story of that same word, and what that word means to somebody, if that doesn’t open your eyes and your mind to things you say, nothing will.”
This is not the usual line we hear from someone who’s recorded saying something heinous. You know, the statement about how this moment isn’t representative of who they really are, which always strikes me as incredibly self-serving. It may not capture everything about you it does show at least something about you.
Look, we all make mistakes. We all cause harm whether it’s unintentional or malicious, and I think the attempt to mitigate our culpability or minimize the transgression is a natural one.
I didn’t mean it that way …
I phrased it poorly …
I’m sorry if you were offended …
What’s missing from all of these statements is an acceptance of blame. That regardless of the intentions you may have had, the result was something you understand to be wrong and something you will not do again.
It’s wrong to minimize a transgression because it was not intentional. The fact that Brennaman thought the broadcast was still in a commercial break when he said the slur doesn’t do anything to mitigate the harm his comment caused.
But I don’t think it’s accurate to define everyone by their worst moment, either. And to say that Brennaman’s use of a slur proves him an irredeemable bigot is to ignore the way he had previously spoken up to protect a friend who was being targeted with that same slur and it fails to acknowledge the experience Brennaman has had in the two years since this incident.
Personally, I’m hoping Brennaman gets another chance to do play-by-play, but regardless I’m taking his story as a reminder that when it comes to second chances, it’s not just the mistake a person made that matters, but what they’ve done since that mistake. Apologies still mean something when they’re done right.
Danny O’Neil is a sports media columnist for BSM. He has previously hosted morning and afternoon drive for 710 ESPN Seattle, and served as a reporter for the Seattle Times. He can be reached on Twitter @DannyOneil or by email at Danny@DannyOneil.com.
