Since his passing earlier this month, many things have been written and said about Bob Rivers. Rivers will be remembered as an incredible radio talent, a producer and songwriter of parody songs, and a contributor to the American Comedy Network.
The much-deserved accolades paint a picture of an incredibly talented person. But what was Bob Rivers like when the microphone was off? I asked two of his closest friends, radio host BJ Shea and his friend and long-time agent Paul Anderson, to paint that picture and discuss his lasting legacy.
Anderson said, “Bob was a relationship guy, but the thing that I will feed off of for the rest of my life is Bob’s insatiable curiosity for all things interesting. And his willingness to understand and listen to other people’s viewpoints.”
“He was a super curious guy, curious about everything, curious about technology, curious about information and politics, curious about pop culture, curious about music, curious about gadgets, curious about evolving media, just curious about everything.”
Shea said, “I think that he, to the best of his ability, and I think that’s something to be said about all human beings is being able to be empathetic. We all have different levels of caring. And I think Bob strived to care as much as humanly possible.”
“I believe that once he cared about something, he strived to make sure that everybody and everything he cared about received as much time as possible. There are a lot of people who will open their mouths and say, I care about A, B, and C, and you see it in today’s world, where people are just always giving their opinion about what’s right or what’s wrong in the world, and yet if you really cared about it, what are you doing?”
I asked Anderson to share a memory that people wouldn’t know, which would demonstrate what it was like being River’s friend.
“Well, I called him a pussy when he wouldn’t get on a small airplane, and then he decided to overcome the fear of flying and became a pilot. He was afraid to get on a small airplane, and I said, ‘You’re a pussy.’ We’re getting on the plane because we were stuck on an island somewhere and had to get off.
“So I said if I can charter a plane, will you get on the plane? And he said, yeah, I’ll get on the plane, but you won’t be able to find one. And I found one in 10 minutes. And then he was like, I don’t think I can get on this plane. And I said you’re a pussy.”
“And then he said, I may die today, but I’m not letting my gay agent call me a pussy. That’s a true story. And then he became a pilot. It forced him to face his fear of flying, and he became a pilot. And not just a visual pilot but an IFR pilot.”
Shea’s experience involved a fish out of water moment in a restaurant.
“We were in this neighborhood where everybody did not look like us. I still, to this day, feel awkward if I walk into a situation where it’s like, I don’t blend here at all. I’m an adopted person, so I feel like I’m not welcome in a lot of places, just based on my childhood dynamic and dysfunction. So, the two of us have our awkwardness when it comes to restaurants.”
“We walked into this restaurant in a place where we felt we were the only ones that looked like we did. I think he felt a little bit like I hope it’s okay that I’m here—that kind of attitude. There are stories you hear over the years, depending on where you go in different places. If you look a certain way, they don’t want you there.”
“Now, whether these stories are true or not, Bob and I, we’re just like, we don’t want to become any of these statistics. But we went in, and I just started having conversations. I had conversations from where I was, and I shared my awkwardness and vulnerability, and I said, look, we don’t know what we’re doing; I don’t even know what the menu is.
“I have no idea, and if you look at us, you know we have no credibility in this restaurant whatsoever. Would you mind helping a bunch of idiots? And somehow, some way, that vulnerability and everything, the entire restaurant crew treated us great, loved us, and even interacted. I used a lot of self-deprecating humor, and I remember Bob was at the table, and he was like, how do you do that?
When I asked about River’s gifts and lasting legacy, Shea referenced the TV series “The Bear,” in which the restaurant’s leader and chef is extremely rude and insulting.
“Bob was never like that. But the similarities between Bob and this head chef was they both demanded excellence. They were both meticulous. They both wanted to be the best. And Bob had a much nicer way of getting the best out of you, but he would not settle for second best. He would not let you be second best.”
“I think out of everything because he had such a huge heart and he helped so many people, but his striving for excellence, and he walked the walk. To me, it is an important thing if you want to have a lasting sort of legacy in anything in the world. And especially, I think, with younger generations. I’m not sure they get that sacrifice, adversity, and sometimes even a little trauma. If you use it positively, it can make you the best,” Shea added.
“And that’s the one thing that Bob always strived for. He would sit there, and he would be, look, we’re not going to have a mediocre anything. That’s not what I’m about. And that pushed me to be the best I could be at something. I think that that’s the great gift, his striving for excellence.”
Anderson said, “I think he was a teacher until the end, showing us all how you can die with gratitude. He certainly didn’t want to die at 68. He was so young. But he just had such gratitude for his life and no bitterness at all. And stayed busy.”
Shea shared and directed me to a eulogy given by Rivers’ son, Andrew.
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Jeff Lynn serves as Editor of Barrett Media’s Music Radio coverage. Prior to joining Barrett Media, Jeff spent time programming in Milwaukee, Omaha, Cleveland, Des Moines, and Madison for multiple radio groups, including iHeartMedia, Townsquare Media, NRG Media, and Entercom (now Audacy). He also worked as a Country Format Editor for All Access until the outlet shut down in August 2023.
To get in touch with Jeff by email, reach him at Jeff@BarrettMedia.com.
