Editor’s Note: This story discusses mental health and suicide.
For the second time in a little over a year, this disclaimer/warning appears below my name and above my thoughts.
Why?
Largely because the act has struck the broadcast journalism community again and as tragic as that always is, there is again an opportunity for us to learn, to become a little better.
As journalists? Maybe. As people? Certainly.
Emily Matson became the focus of news content earlier this month, for the very worst of reasons.
Instead of telling the story, she was the story and no matter how or why she died, that is indeed awful.
Because we are not used to that.
The stories we tell often involve death and tragedy and those in the news business are expected to tell them with impartiality, humanity, and compassion. And generally, we don’t know those involved, have not sat next to them or worked with them regularly.
You probably didn’t know Emily Matson; I didn’t know her. We all are linked however, not only because of the business we work in but because we are human and mortal. The community in Erie, Pennsylvania knew her as did her family, her friends, and her colleagues.
Suddenly, in their world, a familiar face is gone. And when that happens, there’s a different kind of shock that comes with the realization that the absence is permanent and seemingly by that person’s own action and own choice.
Emily Matson’s death on December 11 was ruled a suicide. Her people are dealing with that or at least they’re trying to deal with it. That information is hard to reconcile and it generally will be for quite some time.
But the questions that come, they are inevitable. What impact does what we do for a living have on these tragedies? While we can never be sure, I will always believe that it would be foolish to believe that the intake and dissemination of catastrophic and heartbreaking events does take its toll. What goes on behind the scenes of any given personal life, individual sufferings, and personality is a proportional decider.
Like so many fields, there are pressures, internal and external, competition and the fight to achieve all while inserting oneself in regular environments of distress, discord, and tragedy.
Over the years, I had many conversations on and off the job with younger colleagues about mental health who found themselves deposited in horrific scenes of devastation, loss, and evil. Sometimes they would need to debrief before and after filing their stories. They needed to just talk about what they had seen, or what they were seeing, and to ask the questions they don’t usually get to ask.
Mostly, why? Why did this happen? Why do people hurt each other? And why does nature and disease rain so heavily upon us?
A lot of deep mental health questions from a 28-year-old guy watching bodies float by him in Indonesia or New Orleans. Or a 24-year-old, young woman on the scene of a fatal drive-by shooting that killed a mother and her toddler in a stroller. Yes, even in a newsroom who has learned about their beloved colleague who chose to undertake so desperate an act.
17 years later, I still ask the question of how and why a 44-year-old retired police officer with a five-year-old daughter could make a similar choice.
Very few answers have come in that time, but I can say there must always be lessons learned and improvements made in the way we look at each other and how we care for each other. No matter what we do for a living.
In both my primary careers, there has been significant loss to suicide. While it’s almost expected to occur within the law enforcement community, it is also unfortunately becoming more common, or at least more prevalent in the world of journalism.
Emily Matson was connected to both those worlds, married to an Erie police officer.
I don’t know too many people who have not been impacted by suicide. In the news business, we largely report on it when it is, someone of note, a celebrity, usually. I can remember as I’m sure countless others can, when the edict was, we don’t report suicides.
There was a time of ignorance — when people actually thought that if you spoke on the subject, and publicized it at all in the news media — that it would encourage others to emulate the act. Fortunately, that has shown to be far from the truth, we cannot be afraid to approach and challenge the topic of suicide. We must learn from it. We must learn from every tragedy we must figure out and realize that we have an obligation to those around us.
We must be keepers to each other in some way or fashion, we must acknowledge frailties, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. We must ask: Are you okay?
For years I spoke to groups, at first to police officers, later with journalists once I was directed to a need. Recruits in the police academy, supervisors, and veteran officers all have the same stories and the same urging to look out for each other’s mental health. It’s no different for reporters, producers, and photographers, check in with those next to you, recognize the changes, and try to know a little more about what’s going on with them so you might see when things are off.
What we see and what we encounter can drain us and injure us. Very often we don’t even realize it until other challenges in life appear and we don’t realize the cracks that have been made in our own foundation. Our work lives meet our real lives and sometimes the result is not healthy.
It can be rare when one factor drives a decision. It’s likely a combination of factors that often light a fuse for an explosion that has no set time of occurrence.
Like it did just over a year ago, this kind of story will sadly repeat itself among our journalism community, but remember it happens every day in someone else’s world. Somewhere in the back of our minds, we must be reminded of that and endeavor to do better with those around us.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Bill Zito has devoted most of his work efforts to broadcast news since 1999. He made the career switch after serving a dozen years as a police officer on both coasts. Splitting the time between Radio and TV, he’s worked for ABC News and Fox News, News 12 New York , The Weather Channel and KIRO and KOMO in Seattle. He writes, edits and anchors for Audacy’s WTIC-AM in Hartford and lives in New England. You can find him on Twitter @BillZitoNEWS.
