What’s next? We’ve often talked here about the need to have a career Plan B in case you can’t find a radio job. That’s become more critical as radio executives sit back in their office chairs and dream of a day when AI will take over all functions of a radio station – on air, sales, production, everything – and they can tell their private equity overlords that there are practically no salaries left to pay other than their own, at which point the investors will ask “why are you still here?” and replace them with AI as well.
And we’ll all have a good laugh about that while waiting in the queue for government cheese.
No, really. Having a Plan B for your career is a good idea, but it’s not like other industries are doing much better, and we’re approaching a major dip in the economy (and a whole lot of other horrible things, but I promised myself I wouldn’t make this political and I’m gonna stick to that).
When you plan alternative career possibilities, one of the things people always say when they’re giving advice on LinkedIn is to assess what your transferrable skills are and how they can translate into a new career. If you’re a radio host, what might those transferable skills be? Let’s see…
1. Walmart greeter Communications skills, ability to relate to the public… wait, they don’t have greeters anymore, do they? And checking receipts as customers leave requires hostility, so forget that. How about…
2. Sports mascot. Really, any kind of mascot. You’ve shown you can interact with the public, you’re an entertainer, you can do this. Just be aware that those costumes really stink inside. Keep telling yourself, hey, it’s almost a living.
3. Air traffic controller. I hear there are openings. You know your way around a microphone headset and you can speak in clear, understandable tones. The job might drive you insane, though. Good thing you’re likely already there.
4. Lawyer. A gift of gab goes a long way in the legal profession. I can speak to this because I happen to be a lawyer, albeit a retired lawyer who hasn’t practiced since the ‘80s and hated every minute of it. Really, the only reason I have a law degree is to be able to say “I’m a lawyer” and watch people recoil in horror. Anyway, this takes three years of law school and passing the bar, which, I assure you, is no fun at all.
5. Cable news pundit/Trump administration appointee/cabinet member. You have opinions and communication skills, which is all you need. The cable news part isn’t really a Plan B since it’s another media job, but the goal is to get a prime government job in which you can screw everything up and not get fired, because screwing up is encouraged.
What did I say about not getting political? Scratch that. (By the way, have you seen Dan Bongino lately? Not a happy camper. Turns out being a podcaster and pundit is a lot different from having actual responsibility and finding out that what you pumped out on the air all those years was, let’s say, not quite accurate.)
6. Writer. Because everyone can do it, right? As someone who ended up going from radio to writing as a career, I get a lot of that when people find out what I do. “Writer? Oh, I love writing. Seems easy.” No, it isn’t, and no, you probably can’t. Also, the pay sucks, getting published requires a lot of rejection and a lot of social media followers, and the industry is at least as screwed up as radio, so you’ll be back at square one in no time at all.
7. Running the board at music venues. You know how to slide pots up and down and press buttons. Learn how to turn knobs and what they do, and you’re all set. The downside is that you’ll have to listen to a lot of lousy local bands. Earplugs are highly recommended.
8. Retiree puttering around a 55+ community in Florida. That’s what I ended up doing. The only skill needed is to know that it’s time. You’ll spend much of your day rummaging through junk mail regarding Medicare plans, complaining about the traffic and weather, and wondering what to have for dinner and when (earlier and earlier). Everybody can do that.
I hope that it doesn’t come to this, that you remain gainfully employed in radio and don’t need a career change. Doesn’t hurt to think about the next stage of life, though. Beats thinking about the news right now. Maybe they’ll be hiring at the reeducation camps.
Barrett Media produces daily content on the music, news, and sports media industries. To stay updated, sign up for our newsletters and get the latest information delivered straight to your inbox.
Perry Michael Simon is a weekly news media columnist for Barrett Media. He previously served as VP and Editor/News-Talk-Sports/Podcast for AllAccess.com. Prior to joining the industry trade publication, Perry spent years in radio working as a Program Director and Operations Manager for KLSX and KLYY in Los Angeles and New Jersey 101.5 in Trenton. He can be found on X (formerly Twitter) @PMSimon.
