Santa Claus is the headliner — deservedly so. But behind St. Nick and the Mrs., there are elves. Without those hard-working little legends:
- Toys wouldn’t get made.
- Santa’s sleigh would be on blocks.
- Forget about Mrs. Claus’ cookies.
- And who would be wrapping all those presents?
Whether you’re a Christmas celebrater or not, let’s honor the Elves of RockMas. These are our unsung heroes who make it possible for the biggest, baddest and loudest Santa’s to take center stage.
Say Hello to Your Elves
Malcolm Young: Arguably the most locked-in rhythm guitarist ever. Hanging in the shadows, in front of all the Marshalls — so Angus could be out front shredding legendary licks.
Levi’s & Marlboro: They’ve been there since the early days. The smell, look, vibe. The undefeated dress code and aroma of Rock.
Taylor Hawkins, Chris Shiflett and Pat Smear: The unsung co-pilots who allowed Grohl to fly to icon status. Three monster players, three key roles, all combining forces in one unstoppable band.
The Sound Crew: The team that hears everything, makes off key sound like art, and still gets blamed when the band plays it wrong.
Sharon Osbourne: We can argue she’s a Santa on her own — but she saved the Prince of Darkness from himself and for all of us. Without her, Ozzy’s legacy might’ve ended in 1982.
The Fashionistas: Someone has to apply the eyeliner, spike the hair, and coordinate the outfits that make the misfits look like stars. (Honestly, have you seen some of them without makeup?)
Brendan O’Brien & Rick Rubin: Their fingerprints are all over Rock history. Imagine if some of those records had other producers. Would Ten, Blood Sugar Sex Magik, or Licensed to Ill even exist as we know them?
Drugs & Alcohol: Don’t do them. But they helped fuel some legendary riffs and unforgettable moments — and they rarely get any credit. History only remembers the songs, not the hangovers.
Chad Smith: One of the greatest Rock drummers of our generation who somehow never gets credit for being one of the greatest Rock drummers of our generation. Nine out of ten Rock drummers couldn’t survive a 90-minute Chili Peppers set, night after night.
Magazines: Remember them? Rolling Stone, Circus, Kerrang! — and the others that cranked out glossies (and still do online) waiving the RockTernative flag.
Alex Van Halen and Michael Anthony: I don’t play bass, but Eddie would have been great with even me on bass — try keeping up with that rhythm section and you’ll see how they kept it locked-down so Eddie could rewrite the history books on what great guitar sounds like.
The Lawyers: They killed a lot of great songs before they were ever written, but they also kept guys like Axl out of jail so they could show up late and afford to buy yachts and trash hotel rooms.
The Roadies: No credit, no sleep, no problem. The miracle workers who hang from the rafters and cram an eight-hour set up into a three-hour blitzkrieg — just in time for the sold-out crowd to arrive.
Izzy Stradlin: Many were never quite sure if he belonged at Woodstock or in Guns ‘N Roses. Slash gets the credit, but Izzy’s rhythm creativity and chops!? Masterful.
AI & DigiTools: Love ‘em or hate ‘em, but not every killer riff is just six strings and an amp these days. The machines have earned their spot in the band.
Radio: Raise a pitcher to the Rock radio talent and programmers who put their passion on display and keep the fuse lit for generations to come.
The Girls: We can’t forget them. The groupies who follow the bus, give money, and listen to stories of loneliness on the road. And then the fans in the crowd like Sydney Sweeney who every guitar player tosses a pick towards. I’m willing to bet most of Rock’s heroes would be working construction if it weren’t for the girls.
The Last Word
There are heroic elves everywhere but let’s leave some cookies and milk for some Classic Elves too who cleared the early roads. Tom Hamilton, Mick Ronson, Keith Moon, the Zeppelin Johns, Charlie Watts, Robby Krieger, MTV, VH-1, etc.. I could be here until next Christmas naming all the elves of Rockmas.
If you’re a radio talent or leader, don’t forget your elves this season. The ones behind the curtain in the workshop make you look good and make it all come together.
Have a very Merry, Hairy and Loud Christmas Season.
Barrett Media produces daily content on the music, news, and sports media industries. Sign up for our newsletters to stay updated and get the latest information right in your inbox.
Keith Cunningham is a music industry and Rock/Alternative columnist for Barrett Media and the founder of Black Box Group, a modern-modeled creative & strategic consultancy built for brands that need strategies with teeth. He’s the former Master of Mayhem at 95.5 KLOS-FM in Los Angeles for over a decade, a nationwide consultant, and has been repeatedly voted one of America’s top Program Directors and strategic thinkers. Keith has built his career by taking multi-million-dollar brands from worst to first and leading Marconi & Gracie award winners along the way. A data nerd with a rock-and-roll heart, he is an advisory council member for St. Jude fundraising, a fantasy football champion, and lover of his daughters & dogs. Reach him at keithblackboxgroup@gmail.com or on LinkedIn or X.
