The past few days have been filled with online memes and on-air jokes about two executives being caught on the kiss cam at a Coldplay concert. And rightfully so.
10-15% of people meet their future spouse or long-term partner at the workplace. If you are married or engaged in a long-term relationship, meeting the next love of your life at the office is a bad thing.
I happen to like Coldplay, but I’ve never thought of them as mood music. I don’t think turning on this band would create moments of intimacy. Perhaps I’m wrong on this, but they are no Usher.
Normally, this column explores trends for improving your show or station. I want to be in the business of protecting you, your wallet, and your family. There is nothing more exciting than new love. The rush of feelings from a new relationship can be quite addictive. But this isn’t real life. In any relationship, there are ups and downs.
I don’t know the two people caught on the kiss cam, but I’m guessing they’ll soon be hiring attorneys over their moment — or moments — of indiscretion. Part of the cool stuff about being an on-air personality is that people know who you are. If you’ve never had an enamored listener from time to time, you’re probably doing this wrong. Heck, I know a couple of people who married listeners. One former co-worker even married a prize pig. Best thing ever for station promotions. I told him his wife won the biggest prize of all.
Radio people are generally not overly attractive. Have you seen a picture of me? Look at it carefully, I’m not a good-looking man. This isn’t a dig on the creative forces in this industry, but you’re likely unappealing to look at.
Now that I’ve insulted you, if you’ve been in this career for any time at all, you know people who’ve gone through a few marriages. Marital stress is a real problem in our industry. You’ll likely be moving, and many spouses can’t handle this. When I was early in my radio career, I often had “the talk” with any woman I was seeing. One woman told me she couldn’t live more than an hour away from her mother. That was our last date.
If your marriage is under stress, being a public figure can create additional issues. Also, working in an office where you interact with great people can present the opportunity to jump-start an affair. If you are married, this can be more than just a disaster. You could lose a large portion of your life savings. You may have to sell the house and split the spoils. If you have kids, you’ll be forced to navigate child support, visitation, and possibly alimony.
If you end up marrying your office fling, how can you trust each other? Whichever person in the new relationship was married when the romance began, the other person should have serious doubts about the long-term viability of the relationship.
If you re-read your employment agreement or contract, you’ll likely find language that used to be called a “morals clause.” If you are a radio personality, you may actually lose your job over an affair that becomes public.
Astronomer’s now-former CEO Andy Byron likely had a morals clause in his contract, and the focus of his affection, HR executive Kristin Cabot, likely had the same. This was horrific for their careers. GMA3’s T.J. Holmes and Amy Robach lost their jobs over an affair. I know of a program director who almost lost everything after being confronted by his market manager about an affair with a staffer. That program director survived, and as far as I know, is still married to the spouse he cheated on.
You are a powerful member of the media. You’re likely quite attractive to co-workers and listeners. If you let your guard down, you could easily lose everything.
I want you to protect yourself. Your career could be in serious jeopardy if you get caught up in a romantic relationship with a co-worker or a listener—especially if you’re married. Divorce, like Megan Rapinoe, is not a good time.
There are many problems in life. There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. New love is a high like meth. For the record, I’ve never used meth. But from stories I’ve read and heard, it’s quite the sensation. New love can be just like that.
Don’t lose your career and your family. Radio jobs aren’t growing on trees. If you love what you do professionally, be forewarned: letting a moment of lust ruin everything around you is not worth it.
Now, if you’re in a bad marriage, try to fix it. Sometimes that’s impossible if your spouse doesn’t see the problem or refuses to change. Address your personal life situation before you fall into a professional and personal abyss.
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Peter Thiele is a weekly news/talk radio columnist for Barrett Media, and an experienced news/talk radio programmer. He currently serves as News/Talk Format Captain for Zimmer Communications. Prior to joining Zimmer, Peter held programming positions in New York City, San Francisco, Des Moines, Little Rock, Greenville, Hunstville, and Joplin. Peter has also worked as a host, account executive and producer in Minneapolis, and San Antonio. He can be found on Twitter at @PeterThiele.
