An Ode To “Maybe”

I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve been getting a lot of “maybe’s.”  “Maybe” is a lot like that time in baseball games now between when the manager signals for a replay review and the decision. 

Don’t you always wonder what is taking so long? How many times can they possibly look at the same play that we looked at twice on TV and saw what the outcome should be?  What could they be talking about before giving an answer?  Of course, the big difference is that the umpires do, eventually, give an answer. 

In our world, we get a lot of “maybe’s” that turn in to forever, because the client never bothers to tell us no.  I hate maybe’s so much, I wrote a rhyme about them:

An Ode to “Maybe”

We’re in sports media sales and don’t’cha know

We love to hear yes’s, never like to hear no

But the worst of all is neither you see

That’s when we get the dreaded “maybe”

When this word comes out of a client’s mouth 

We don’t know if the deal is heading north or going south

Do I leave you on or take you off my pending biz?

You said “maybe” so I don’t know which it is.

I listened, I pitched, and I lowered the cost

But now I have no idea what to tell my boss

I had you down as an eighty percent close

But with you saying maybe, now who knows

Can you not make a decision, did I pitch the wrong guy?

You sounded so interested, was that all a lie?

Do I move on to another or act like it’s all fine

Your “maybe” is killing me and my pipeline.

I have to figure out how to get “maybe” to a “yes”

Or face the wrath of one angry DOS

I’d tried to pop in and get clarification

But the gatekeeper said you were out on vacation

But, I need to know and I need to know ASAP

Are you or are you not going to do business with me?

I need to hit quota and I’m kinda in a rush

Oh, stupid “maybe’s” I hate you so much!

Please return my email and let me know where things stand

You said in the CNA you needed to further your brand

But now we’ve lost contact and I thought you were a lock

Til you hit me with “maybe” – which is just such a crock

So just tell me this, and then I’ll let it go

Can you at least say if this a “maybe, yes” or a “maybe, no?”

“Maybe” is the bane of a sports media seller’s existence

A terrible reward for all our persistence 

Eventually you meet with the boss who asks “What’dya got?”

And you aren’t sure if this deal’s a “maybe” or a “maybe not”

I hate you “maybe,” oh, how I hate you so

Is it really that hard to just give me a YES or a NO?

Dave Greene

Dave Greene is a former Editor and Columnist for Barrett Media. His background includes over 25 years in media and content creation. A former sports talk host and play-by-play broadcaster, Dave transitioned to station and sales management, co-founded and created a monthly sports publication and led an ownership group as the operating partner. He has managed stations and sales teams for Townsquare Media, Cumulus Media and Audacy. Upon leaving broadcast media he co-founded Podcast Heat, a sports and entertainment podcasting network specializing in pro wrestling nostalgia. To interact, find him on Twitter @mr_podcasting.