This week I wanted to write about the positives and negatives of selling a live remote broadcast. The older you are the more likely you are to remember a time when these were a really big deal, no matter the format. Rock stations would set up at a shoe store on a Saturday and the line would be down the street to meet the DJ and have a chance to spin the “wheel of prizes.” If the store wasn’t packed full of customers and having one of their biggest days of the year, it was a disappointment.
As time has passed and the world has changed, so too has the live remote broadcast. No longer can a client purchase a two-hour show on a weekend afternoon and expect that people are going to stop what they’re doing and run to meet the DJ. Obviously, with social media and other advances, the DJ’s, or in our case show hosts, aren’t as much of a mystery as they used to be. Additionally, people’s lives are busier than ever and that 3-night trip to Mexico you’re giving away isn’t going to change anything.
In my almost twenty-five years in the business, I‘ve had a love-hate relationship with remotes. From the early days of having to set them up or even run them technically, to hosting them to selling them, I feel like I’ve seen and done it all. There’s been great ones that were very memorable and there’ve been terrible ones where I wanted to forget quickly they’d ever happened.
I am very much a believer that the live show on location has value if done correctly and if the proper expectations are set up front. They can enhance something already happening such as a golf tournament or grand opening and they also have the added bonus of being a marketing vehicle for the station. With that said, they can also be an enormous pain in the butt and most of the time the expectations are that people will flock through the doors because our station is there, despite our best efforts.
Yep, been there done that with remotes. I got to thinking back on it all and jotted down this little ode to the live remote:
Oh live remote broadcast, how we’ve been through it all
Via Comrex, Tieline, Marti or when everything failed, a call
You used to be desired all of the time
We’d give away prizes and down the street people would line
Listeners would meet the hosts, finally see the face behind a voice
And if the place was full, we’d all sit back, take the credit and rejoice
But things have changed, remotes can now be a real grind
When I think of what they’ve become, here is what comes to mind:
The promos ran, the eblast went out, we couldn’t have promoted it more
Now please, please, please will some people come through that door
Last night I was worried sick and hardly got any sleep
Why oh why did I sell this (bleepity bleep)
I said be here at ten, and nobody showed until ten thirty
The banners are all wrinkled and the logo’d tablecloth is dirty
The on-air hosts are whining, complaining and won’t listen to me
And all they keep worrying about is when they’ll get their talent fee
And then another moment of despair
The remote tech just jumped up and yelled, “I think we’re off the air!”
The store owner is pacing and doesn’t look calm
Please, lord don’t let this one be a bomb
But oh, lookey here, what’s that I see
The host got up and started schmoozing the client for me
And now what through the door should appear
Listeners, who said they heard us and just had to get here
The place started to fill and the cash register was ringin
The owner started to look pleased with the people we were bringin
It’s all turned around, I think this remote actually went well
Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to sell
Live remotes, they are truly a necessary evil
I think if we stopped selling them, there’d be an upheaval
Some accounts still love them and are willing to pay
And nobody’s turning down the money, not in this day
We’ll keep hoping they go well and from each one we’ll learn
Until one day soon when we can sell remotes without (too much) concern
Remotes, it’s been a heckuva ride, as I take a deep breath
And truly hope you’re not the cause of my early death.
