I unfollowed a childhood friend this week. No drama, no rock radio issues, but he just lives in Lake Me.
Do you know about Lake Me? It’s not a bad place but people drown there.
It traps talent, brands, and it can pull anyone under. It brings problems on the air, but online is the deep end.
Lake Me is where everything is about you:
- Your wins
- Your grind
- Your brilliance
- Your opinion on everything
- Even your mundane
It’s ok to celebrate yourself. Post the selfie with Grohl, show off your grilled cheese masterpiece, and let us know if you save a baby from a burning building. Just make sure that seesaw comes down after your personal high and gives a ride up for others, because they’re expecting it.
Why are they expecting it? Social media is personal. It’s my personal page.
Yes, it is. But it’s also personal for scrollers and fans. If talent and brands don’t remember that — and only deliver exhausting laps in Lake Me — that’s when it gets dangerous.
Fair or not, most everything talent or brands do online is viewed as business in the eyes of others, especially clients and fans. That’s the difference between Lake Me and Lake Them.
Lake Me vs. Lake Them
Lake Me fills your personal tank, your self-worth, the achievements, stuff you really care about. While important, it’s best used in moderation. Lake Them is what builds an audience, creates bonds, and includes them.
Lake Me harmlessly says:
- Long week of shows, meetings and appearances. No show tomorrow, I’m just chillin’ tonight with Jack Daniels and Netflix.
That’s fine. But who’s that for? It’s “look at me” with a status update no one asked for. Too much of that and you’ll have fewer followers than I do.
Lake Them says:
- Finally the weekend. Jack Daniels and Netflix. Got any Night Agent drinking games? Takeout musts?
Both are touchpoints: whiskey, Netflix and chill. But the intent is different. Different relationships. The Lake Me post won’t get you kicked off social, but it was a humble brag about meetings and appearances and a one-way broadcast about YOU… or ME. Lake Them was a conversational invite into your evening. Subtle difference, but important.
Not everything needs to drive interaction but how we talk to the audience matters. Scrollers notice.
More examples:
- Lake Me: Ratings came out today. The show was #1 AGAIN.
- Lake Them: Ratings say #1 again. Probably a mistake, there should be a recount.
- Lake Me: Sorry I haven’t posted in a few days. Big paydays are great but traveling for keynotes is brutal.
- Lake Them: Been running around pretending I’m smart to pay the rent. What’d I miss, fill me in?
Now think about rock bands. Some treat every day like it’s their birthday. But those that stand out build careers on songs that make fans feel something — a collective experience, a shared identity, the fans are always on blast — that’s Lake Them.
But it all shifts when fans feel like they’re suddenly being lectured or talked at — the whole vibe changes. You feel it and see it: when artist preach, talk too loudly about themselves or slip into too much Lake Me, fans will drift down the lake to other boats.
It’s important to be you and let the world know when you’re killing it. Just don’t forget that intent is felt and it’s not always all about you. It’s also easy to spot the regulars quietly shouting, “Look at ME… I’m in Lake ME.”
- “I” more than “you.”
- Posts are like lectures or acceptance speeches.
- Experts on everything.
- Trying to force boring into being relevant.
- Credit rarely shared.
- Reciprocal interaction is sparse.
- Humble brags in disguise
That’s chlorine poisoning.
For onliners, there’s no discernible difference between personal pages and brand pages, and the audience wants you in Lake Them.
If you’re a manager, have a chat about Lake Me with your team. And just for fun, review your FB or IG feeds and count all the “Lake Me” posts you see today. You won’t be able to unsee them.
Lake Me.
Go for a swim.
Just don’t become a VIP member.
Barrett Media produces daily content on the music, news, and sports media industries. Sign up for our newsletters to stay updated and get the latest information right in your inbox.
Keith Cunningham is a music industry and Rock/Alternative columnist for Barrett Media and the founder of Black Box Group, a modern-modeled creative & strategic consultancy built for brands that need strategies with teeth. He’s the former Master of Mayhem at 95.5 KLOS-FM in Los Angeles for over a decade, a nationwide consultant, and has been repeatedly voted one of America’s top Program Directors and strategic thinkers. Keith has built his career by taking multi-million-dollar brands from worst to first and leading Marconi & Gracie award winners along the way. A data nerd with a rock-and-roll heart, he is an advisory council member for St. Jude fundraising, a fantasy football champion, and lover of his daughters & dogs. Reach him at keithblackboxgroup@gmail.com or on LinkedIn or X.
